So why do some people talk a lot? I mean really talk a lot? It is as if they have to fill every space with their voice, that silence is never good enough and that they just have to say something, all the time.
Or how about the person who seems to be quiet all the time? They hardly ever say anything even when they should and when they eventually do, it sounds cynical or demeaning or at the very least hardly complimentary.
Or the person who just has to control, I mean boss, everyone in the group. They instruct people on what to do and how to do it and they do not seem to understand the concept of enrolment. It is as if they want to control everything and they seldom seem to have a sense of humour while they are doing it.
So how do you find yourself responding as I describe these three cases? What is going through your mind as you read them? What conclusions are you coming to regarding why people are doing this?
This response and final conclusion is simply your judgement. Judgment is the interpretation of behaviour and it is as natural as breathing. Judgment is supposed to be there to keep you alive. Providing that your judgment is correct.
And therin lies the challenge. As humans we judge other behaviour on what I call the familiarity index. The more familiar someone’s behaviour is to our own the better chance we have of interpreting it correctly. But even this is not fail safe as there are as many nuances to behaviour as there are colours in the world.
Unfortunately some people insist on seeing black and white only and miss out on the rich tapestry that is our behaviour.
So why should we learn the “colours” of behaviour? Because behaviour is simply the expression of our talents, often expressed in raw form.
What if I told you that in the first example this person simply loves talking. They really do. They are not compensating for anything, they just love talking. They instinctively see the value of talking.
What if I told you that the quiet person, loves keeping quiet even to the extent of being alone. That they can sense the power of contemplation and careful thought.
And yes, what if I told you that the bossy person loves taking charge because they just know that things will work better and quicker if they just do it.
Can you see the talent lurking behind the behaviour? Or are you simply drawing a conclusion based on your own lens? Big question. If this is the case, how much talent do you pass by every single day simply because you judge a book by its cover? More importantly how much talent do we destroy through incorrect judgment? And then we wonder why the world is a mess.
Discover the colours. You will be richer for it.